Every relationship has an initial phase where things are joyous, after which things start going downhill. We've heard millions of quotes and stories on social media that have time and again proved that relationships might actually last much longer if people put the same amount of effort into sustaining a relationship, as they did when they started it. Whether it's the dates we skip or the phone calls we miss, they all build up in one corner and as we see more of them, we start thinking this is the way things should be. However, we fail to recognise what this downside really is.?
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Remember that scene in Bollywood movie Chalte Chalte, when Rani Mukerji reminds Shah Rukh Khan about how he followed her till Greece in order to woo her? The actor replies that that was before they were married. This particular conversation summarises how complacency seeps into a relationship. Let's take a look at how complacency?kills your relationship.?
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Relationships are not always about greetings, box of chocolates, and roses but ignoring these all the time can leave your partner feeling neglected, unloved and undervalued. It is commonly observed that couples become too content in their relationships, which leads to boredom and taking their partners for granted. It only gets worse if one of the partners suffers from low self-esteem which further aggravates the relationship. ?
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Partners who once were madly in love have somewhat fallen in the trap of routine. Yes, gradually the conversation, gateways, rendezvous are all carried out but without any feeling. Marital complacency is subtle but its effects are agonisingly disastrous in the breaking of a relationship. Thanks to mundane life, two souls feel like roommates rather than spouses. ??
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You seem to be doing everything right in your relationship. The pictures of you and your partner vacationing are the epitome of what a perfect relationship should look like. But deep down you feel trapped, the loneliness is killing you inside and no one seems to see or understand the same. Worst, you just cannot explain what is wrong in this hunky-dory relationship.?
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Your partner is not your confidante anymore. While one of the two of you does not acknowledge there is anything wrong in their relationship, the other person slowly drifts apart sensing boredom. He or she does not wish to trust or open up to their partner who now holds no importance in their life but is a mere responsibility. ?
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No matter what relationship you are in - friends with benefits or a long-term commitment, if the passion goes for a toss, you both are in for a loss. On a serious note, two people who get together only for physical intimacy tend to lose interest if there is nothing more to add to it. The same is the case in long-term relationships where intimacy fades, leaving a dull and unfulfilling relationship hanging in between.?
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A lot of people confuse comfort and complacency. While the former is the ease and the serenity one shares with their partner in a relationship, the latter is the lack of it. Being comfortable means you're both fine with each other's behaviour and hold no hidden desire or unrealistic expectations. But with complacency, you are fine with each other on the face but deep down are not happy. Neither of you makes an effort to talk it out, which in turn hurts the relationship.?
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While you may argue that every relationship has fights, when the number of fights are much more than the happy and calm moments, you know something is wrong. The frustration of one partner and the indifference of the other often lead to many unnecessary fights which add to the downfall of any relationship.
Just knowing and identifying these basic points can help you realise your mistakes, and you can either make the relationship work or rise above it and realize your own potential to be happy. For either of the two options, it is very important to remember to notice these small hints that we often ignore.?