Sharpen those claws and fluff those blowouts, because Desperate Housewives is getting a revival, and the drama is about to be hotter than Susan Mayer¡¯s lasagna disasters. Officially titled Wisteria Lane, this reboot (or ¡°offshoot¡±, if you are fancy) is being developed by Onyx Collective, and yes, it is set right back where all the beautifully unhinged chaos began.
Let us be real, Desperate Housewives was not just a TV show. It was a lifestyle. A fever dream of secrets, scandals, and women who looked absolutely flawless while committing mild crimes. Running from 2004 to 2012, the original series gifted us eight glorious seasons of Teri Hatcher, Marcia Cross, Eva Longoria and Felicity Huffman giving iconic monologues and passive-aggressive garden party showdowns. It scooped up 38 Emmy nominations and became a queer cultural reset. Now, over a decade later, we are being summoned back to the cul de sac that raised us ¡ª and emotionally destroyed us.
According to Variety, Wisteria Lane will focus on five new women ¡ª friends, frenemies, or both (obviously) ¡ª living their best fake lives behind white picket fences and filtered Instagram stories. Think shiny SUVs, picture-perfect families, and deep, dark secrets under those manicured lawns.
Writer and executive producer Natalie Chaidez (of The Flight Attendant and Heroes fame) is on board to pen the madness. She is joined by executive producers Pilar Savone (via Kerry Washington¡¯s Simpson Street) and Stacey Sher (for Shiny Penny). Oh, and Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry has reportedly had a few reboot ideas brewing for a while ¡ª and it looks like the pot just boiled over.
The series is being developed under Disney¡¯s Onyx Collective, a platform dedicated to spotlighting creators of colour and underrepresented voices. So not only are we getting drama ¡ª we are getting a new, fresher lens for it.
Whether they call it a reboot or a spin-off, fans just want one thing: chaos. If this Wisteria Lane brings even half the tornadoes, supermarket shootouts, and sexually confusing gardeners of its predecessor, then we are already seated ¡ª with a full glass of red wine and binoculars on the neighbours.